CLAIRAUDIENCE: GIFT OR BURDEN?

Good Morning.

Some of you subscribers or wayward readers are not aware that I am clairaudient. Clairaudient is a French word for 'clear hearing'. Being raise and am still a practicing Catholic, we were taught by the church that people like me are 'evil', 'of the devil', 'taking the dead away from God' when someone professes to have the ability to communicate with the dead. Herein is my conflict: I hear the dead. I hear voices of spirits, angels and yes, even Jesus Himself. There, I said it. Let your immediate judgement crash over you like a tidal wave. Once it's over and it has sunk in, I'm asking you to open your mind for a few minutes and allow me to explain why I do what I do. I will NOT get into full detail about my experience because of two reasons: 1. Putting it into human terms is not possible for anyone to understand my unearthly experience. 2. It is so deeply personal, at times FRIGHTENING AND beautiful that it must remain forever locked in my psyche if I'm able to make peace with it daily.

I had a week of lost time. Scattered minutes, blurred hours and shocking experiences are only a few vivid 'memories' I have. I saw, I EXPERIENCED hell. I experienced the darkest dark beyond human comprehension. I was 'told' by my tormentors (who turned out to be my saviors as well) that I couldn't appreciate the 'gifts' I was about to be given if I didn't first experience the evil that would be seeking me as well. Yes, the darkest hour IS just before dawn. I wasn't sick, it wasn't a NDE (Near Death Experience), I was not drinking nor taking drugs. My young daughter was vacationing with my older sister for 2 weeks and my husband was working nights...I was all alone or so I thought. Now looking back at the experience, it's funny how God works sometimes. The week my 'experience' happened, my daughter would have been home and my husband SHOULD have been working. However, God, knowing the bigger picture, knew I would need this alone time for a reason.
I will so try not to go into huge detail here because again, maybe it would only make sense to me. I awoke about 2am thinking someone was in the house but how could that be? My little dog barks her head off if a drip of water drips in the bathroom sink! I found no one. Back to bed. Heard a BOOMING voice of a man right outside my door: I panic, grab the phone and am at the ready to dial. Nothing. The 'voice' now inside my room in an upper corner. 'It' called to me. HORRIFIC conversation took place telepathically and I was terrified and immensely confused how I could be having a 2 way conversation with someone I couldn't see. I was tested. I was commanded to prove I wasn't fearful of things that terrified me even as an adult; The dark, a belief in evil, childhood fears. I was SOBBING uncontrollably yet through the sobbing I still hear this booming male voice now right behind my right ear just as if a real, flesh and blood man was commanding me to face demons I didn't want to face. I did EXACTLY what I was being told to do even though I am a VERY strong willed, strong minded person I knew I needed to obey. I now lay in a ball in the corner of my dark room and silence. Through the sobbing I now heard nothing but my wails in the night. What the hell just happened? Am I going crazy? Is this a horrible joke? I even thought, being so terrified, that maybe I had died and I was being 'tested' before I either went to Heaven or hell! Then a soft spoken, very familiar voice asked me softly to sit on the edge of my bed. I did exactly that. The once booming voice now became what I can only describe as a 'mechanical' voice. I didn't fear this voice, or the soft, familiar voice that had asked me to sit on the end of my bed. The mechanical sound began to take word form along with an intense vibration from my shoulders to the top of my head. I now had realized that I had heard this mechanical voice just 2 weeks prior laying in an ICU bed. EVERYTHING mechanical that had a sound i.e., air conditioning coming on, the hum of my oxygen mask even the white noise of the tv if I paid attention, would start to take word form! I was not hearing this voice in the middle of the night coming from directly above my head asking me what I would do with gifts of being able to hear spirits, angels, the DEAD! I was at a loss for words and my crying continued. Then, the single most clearest moment of my entire life I heard the soft, comforting and FAMILIAR voice of a man standing directly behind me, STANDING on my bed say to this 'mechanical' voice: "Stop, she's had enough". THEN, from about 4 feet directly behind me the deeply embedded footprints of someone walking down my bed to come put 'His' hands on my shoulders and I felt 'His' teardrops hitting the back of my bare shoulders!! I was so devoid of the fear I just experienced as I felt the tears FALLING ON MY BACK, my cry had now turned to what I can describe as a defined, whole and completely encompassing cry as if I were crying for the whole world. I was then asked by the mechanical voice if I would accept these gifts and use them to help not only the people around me, but the spirits I would soon encounter. 'He' told me I would be ridiculed, singled out, lied about but to ALWAYS REMEMBER 'HE' WAS FIRST TO HAVE SUCH THINGS HAPPEN TO HIM. Then, the person behind me heard my promises to help people both of this earth and NOT of this earth AND that I would have to let go of some of my hard held beliefs. Specifically He did not say. After the experience, I figured I would have to truly love God and not necessarily EVERYTHING I had learned from the church OR from the Bible. Then I felt the 'man' behind me speaking softly a language I did not recognize as he placed what can only be described as a round, securely fitting hat on my head and a VERY heavy cloak around my shoulders. The mechanical voice was now joining the soft voice in a prayer like language for approximately 20 minutes then it was over. I was left feeling completely overwhelmed, exhausted, confused and my legs didn't afford me the luxury of holding me up to return to my bed so I was forced to schooch back, cover up and cry myself to sleep. This entire experience lasted an entire week.

I'll try to jump through this part quickly. I woke up & it was so bright I needed my sunglasses which were for some reason on my night stand. I knew instantly that I was loved and that the unseen energy surrounding my bed were angels and arch angels. Michael started: "My name is Michael and I LOVE you Christine"...around the circle they went. The light was not only so bright, but my eyes felt like they had been glued shut. I went out into my living room and sat on the couch when the room began to fill with my family who had all passed away. That 'night', my bedroom wall completely disappeared and the backyard was illuminated with the whitest light! The same light that filled my room that very morning. I could see people walking hand-in-hand into what used to be the brick wall of my backyard! Then the voice: "Tell your husband and your daughter goodbye. It's your time to go to the light". AH HA!! My experience was somehow a near-death-experience if I'm being asked to go to the light and follow the others, I must be dead! Even with my Catholic upbringing and continual belief in the Catholic religion and teachings, I was terrified to approach the light but I complied once again. I kissed my husband, my dog and crying, went into my daughter's room and kissed her goodbye. As I walked back to my bedroom I instantly reflected on my life....who I loved, who I hurt and how could I have made a bigger difference in my family's life. As I approached my backyard facing wall that was no longer there, my first step hit hard against the wall that INSTANTLY appeared. The male voice much softer again; "Now you will understand when you need to help children, women, men, non-believers who are frightened to take the next step into the light as you have now experienced their fear". Wow. A lesson I still carry with me today. Spirits 'line' up in my room to be heard. I've learned that if you were an asshole on earth, the likely hood of you coming across to me from the spirit world as an asshole are also very likely. I don't seek out spirits, angels, ghosts or whatever you NEED to call them, they come to me. I help little children cross and know some of their fear. I assist a loved one to come from the light to meet them and help them cross over and they always pause to thank me. Why me? After asking myself that at least a million times, I've stopped asking. When people ridicule me or cuss me out (which has happened on more then one occasion)I can't get mad or at least not anymore. I was chosen for a reason. If you want to know the reason, you'll have to ask the 'power' that gave it to me as I cannot answer you. I cuss, I drink, I'm deeply opinionated as yes, I talk to spirits, angels and Jesus. It IS possible for people with human qualities to also have God's favor in their lives: I'm living proof.

Since the inception of my gifts, I have premonitions, astral travel, have spirits and angels visit me helping me sharpen my clairaudient gifts with constant testing, have frequent telepathic conversations with non-human entities I lovingly call 'My ET's' and now, cannot imagine life without them.

So the next time someone says they have 'gifts', you might just pause and give thought without judgement.

Blessings,
Chris